how to ask out a female cashier

OP, I did this once. A female cashier was unable to provide the return, though. Check out this blog post for an eloquent statement about this: http://captainawkward.com/2011/07/04/blanket-statement-monday-stop-hitting-on-the-waitress/ just joking. Idiot. OP here, thank you, and yes Im definitely not interested in objectifying this person or treating him like a piece of meat :). She said shes there to work, not to get hit on or asked out. I used to wait tables when I was young, and a lot of times guys (and horribly old men, too!) Enjoy your time together but make sure that you maintain boundaries; this will help create an enjoyable experience for both parties involved! Im not saying these were nice guys who decided not to tip if you didnt take the bait, but I couldnt choose who sat in my section I just had to hope they were going to tip me. With the acknowledgment that some people may say NOT to ask a cashier out at her work, can I get some ideas from you all assuming that I AM going to ask her out. 1) I was a girl and that was enough to get comments New blog post from our CEO Prashanth: Community is the future of AI, Improving the copy in the close modal and post notices - 2023 edition. If she does not react then forget it. Not eHarmony, they discriminate against gays and lesbians. I was thinking the same thing. Bustle A better idea would be to go b No. and our A: Rejection can be tough, but its important to accept it gracefully. Being friendly is literally part of their job description. If youve been hit on/propositioned once a shift for the past month, that one guy who is genuinely kind and interested in getting to know you is just going to be added to the SERIOUSLY! I dont think most men handle being turned down poorly. has the world just gotten that much more creepy? Id hesitate against saying dont ask the employee out entirely, because sometimes asking someone out can lead to good things, but Id definitely caution against relying only on signals within the store as the basis for his interest. There's a reason advances are looked down upon in these situations: it's not about the no/yes, it's about the fact that the likelihood of an honest answer being expected or given in such a situation is low, close to impossible. Additionally, it can be helpful to practice what you want to say beforehand. One great relationship made it all worth it! Say it in a way that shows you mean it--smile and look (2) My hope for the human race has just fallen by another notch. If you dont hear from him in a week oh well. Should be a great (event, e.g. From a quick skim of the comments, it seems like Im in the minority opinion here (Im a man myself), but two things: 1. I think youll only figure that out if you can talk to him outside of work. And I would tell a couple of friends where I was going and who I was with. Having been on the receiving end, I can tell you I've always found it awkward and uncomfortable when someone has asked me out as opposed to leaving a note for me to choose to respond or not respond privately. It was so non-creepy that I didnt even realize it was a request for a date until the end of the day. It's long enough to exchange more than a couple of sentences and gauge interest. If I get friend but not relationship vibes, then I can always invite them out to social outings in a group in the future! It gets so old! Youve got the people who say the waiter seemed friendly, so I gave him my number, and weve been married 30 years now. Awkwardness all round. Id also like to point out that for all of your talk about women having agency and being liberated, that youre not actually listening to all of the women who have posted here saying that they do not enjoy being hit on/creeped on/asked out by customers at their place of work and that they just want to do their job without feeling like a Playboy bunny. I dont think its a horrendous crime to ask someone out, I just remember wishing (as a former waitress) that people would just let me bring them their food instead of assuming were friends now because weve been interacting for 8 minutes in my place of work. The degrees of freedom available to signify attraction are few. If theyre interested they will, specifically, ask you. And man did that sting. The Craigslist Missed Connectios where I live seem to have a lot of men who want to connect with the women who cut their hair, probably because its a longer encounter and there is more chit chat. Too bad The IT Crowd is off the air, I could totally see them doing a show like this one. Get to know her (over a few visits to the grocery store) and in the process find somethings she's into. If you decide to ignore this advice and try to ask them out, you need to understand that it's highly likely that they aren't into you. This could go either way! Unless hes specifically told you about these things, you dont know whats going on in the background for him, and what it might raise. In this case, the crush could have ignored it. The guys I know that routinely hit on female retail/service workers do it in the blink of an eye the second they see a pretty face. to flirt with a cashier That said I think that the fact that you know it could be awkward speaks well of you, OP. What should I follow, if two altimeters show different altitudes? can we talk about GOOD companies for a change? I work at Barnes and Noble, and I am shocked at how often I get hit on/asked out. And this is an obvious double standard but I think its less of a big deal because the manager in question is male. Ugh. We went on a couple of dates, but that was it. I still think its creepy to approach the crush him/herself, when theyre obligated to be nice to you. So I definitely dont think its fair to allege that Im not empathetic here Im reflecting on my own feelings as well as those Ive heard from others of both genders, or as you say, putting myself in their shoes.. My suggestion is to not overthink this or make it overly complicated. Ask and offer advice for specific dating situations. concert). I love that show, I wish they would bring it back. I used to work at a library too and we were always told not to give out our full names and to be vigilant of patrons. Personally I think the heres my number if you would like to talk when you are not at work approach sounds okay, although I totally understand the problem here. All of my long term relationships have come from mutual friends or activity groups. If done in a non creepy way and they gracefully accepted my no, I would be flattered. Conversation will help break the ice and show your interest. after coffee. But what happens after, due to the dynamics of her life is, every time I go to that damn shop, she will feel somewhat at unease. They would try to dazzle me with charm, I would kindly redirect them to dazzle me with good work. One of the worst parts of retail was being trapped into conversations with these men over and over and not being able to walk away. I would strongly advise you do neither of these things. Make an effort to get to know your crush in a non-work context before asking him out. Heres my number, no pressure if youre not interested. We always flirted, he always asked me about what was going on in my life, on and on. I live in Denmark just north of Germany so it's not completely unfeasible that there are some similarities. I took his pointing out hes male as, Hey, Im a dude, so take what Im saying with a grain of salt, but this is what I think, I consider myself a pretty well-centered person. Well, the tricky thing about asking out someone in a customer service position is that their job requires them to be nice to you. I will put a quick disclaimer/bias I am female, and I think women overall have to deal with this more than men, so its probably why its more annoying in my mind. This is exactly what I was coming here to post. Unless we want to rely on eHarmony to produce the next generation, you have to take advantage of opportunities that present in the real world.. but to me, Id take being asked out as a form of flattery, even if I wasnt interested This crap makes me want to flip tables. "I don't know and I don't care" or if she answers something like: "I love those cookies, I wish someone would invite me to eat them.". And thanks for the suggestion for a no-pressure meet-up, thats a super idea! WebYour a cashier right? She will expect you, on next visit, to quiz her about "did you come?" Sometimes the entire queue could stop and simply have a collective chat with the shopkeeper about some random thing, such as the weather, and such spontaneous conversations take place frequently. I dont feel very comfortable or happy rejecting people. Dont say, Sure sounds good! About 15 years ago I met a girl working at a local convenience store. It may be true, but I strongly suspect its not, and its a consequence of anecdotal data, how a creepy experience is much more memorable than a dull normal day at work, and so on. So theyll make a HUGE impact, far more of an impact than the 600 perfectly reasonable men who went through the store that day. WebOriginally Answered: How do you ask a (girl) cashier out? Or even worse if I read the signs wrong and she rejects me? Its this: Be very well dressed and be well groomed. Something that lets him know where youll be if he ever wanted to bump into you outside of a work environment. I came here to drink milk and kick ass. There's a strong bias against guys bothering random girls in shops with requests for dates (speaking from experience). But its still a business interaction. I see what youre getting at, but my experience in retail and food service was that everybody doing the latter still thinks theyre doing the former. He was removed from my class after that, thankfully (although it took awhile because I didnt report it to my bosses until after the class had ended and then he didnt come back for a couple weeks, and I was definitely nervous about him returning and nervous again when he showed up and I had to say, Boss wanted to see you), and one of my bosses came around and did a brief talk to all the classes without naming any names basically saying, People, dont ask out your teachers. Which was really the best boss reaction I could have asked for, but still, ugh. Met a girl, we liked each other but now shes ignoring me and i want her back. Any bashing, hateful attack Not most. ask The next day, as I entered the shop, the whole personnel (all women) grinned at me. If a An online dating website is the real world. Or, just be a little more obvious about YOUR flirting; hang there beside him just to talk to him, and then watch is body language; is he glad of it, or does he start to get antsy or pull away after a polite interval. Good thing I didnt leave work yet :/. I dont really care how kind you are or subtle about itits still off-putting. In an ideal world, a polite request for a date wouldnt be totally inappropriate. maybe?? Ask Well FWIW, I backed off immediately. young and youngish women in customer-service jobs are frequently dealing with a more-0r-less daily barrage of men who interpret smiled at me and was polite as wants me . Q: What should I do if the cashier rejects my invitation? Because its *just* flirting? Ok but how do I do this without coming off as a creeper? In Ohio, we have drive-thrus where you can literally drive through and buy beer, cigarettes, pop, etc. Women deal with this sort of stuff all the time at work, in public, going about errands, etc. Put yourself somewhere that she might be out of work. I wonder if anyone has ever gathered real data on this? I got hit on more in 6 or 8 months there than I have in the rest of my life put together. a very attractive girl working at He may truly be interested but the power imbalance there makes it sort of uncomfortable. Hopefully she will respond. I would hate to tell you not to try, though. Like I said, Id be flattered, even if I was interested and it wouldnt be weird for me to see you again in the future. Maybe we could get cheese fries on another day, then you know. And as others have mentioned, it's very easy to misinterpret her general customer service skill as "signals" of something else which she didn't intend. Continue with Recommended Cookies, Would you be interested in going out sometime?. should I wear my wedding ring to an interview, client demands unlimited time, and more. Take it easy, look how she reacts and accept it even if she is not interested in you. Unfortunately theres always the potential that someone could turn into a stalker. How to flirt with a cashier - GirlsAskGuys Arrange to run in to someone as they are leaving, but asking them out in their place of employment is frankly awful. But STILL. Again, I have a feeling the answer is "just do it" but I'm awkward and would love to hear from any female cashiers(or similar customer service positions) on how and how NOT to ask her out.. She smiles at me when I come in, but its hard to tell if she's just doing her job or if she actually likes seeing me, ya know? *Setting aside the whole discussion about what is and isnt not creepy or inappropriate. If you were interested in a customer, what would you do about it? Established relationships longer than 6 months posts should go to r/relationship_advice Ask yourself how well you actually know them. The difference is that many* men will IGNORE those signals because what they want is more important to them than respecting the others wishes. That's just basic humanity. I really dont understand the snark here, much less the do as I please nobody was threatening you with a restraining order. Also regarding not having much time because there's a lineup. I don't believe I do haha. Too direct an approach also creates a Huge Awkwardness when you visit the shop in the future, as now she must explain her rejection. It feels like a lose-lose situation. I wrote write my info on a small piece of paper and said something as non-pickup-y as possible: If you want to talk more about photography, heres my info or something. By entering this site you declare When I worked retail, I got hit on a few times by male customers. Note that I am not recommending you ask her out, just suggesting a way of making it easier for her to say no without either of you losing face. He may be a manager. Flirting is fun! Just FYI: I've had male cashiers say things like "Nice to see you again", and it doesn't mean they want to go out with me, ok? I know people who have met because they ride the same train to work every day or theyve attended the same sporting event. In a bar, she could just turn around and leave, but not here. Thats exactly how Id do it. Try it if you meet somewhere else. You never know! No! Since the store is just 5 min away from my place I visit regularly and don't want to leave a bad impression there. And if he doesnt call you actually have to forget the incident ever happened, for real no joke you actually have to. She called, and shortly after she was on my couch. You can try going to the supermarket at different times, e.g. Q: What is Lindy Hop? Part of having agency and being liberated is being able to say, Hell, no! At my local supermarket, some of the cashiers take smoke breaks near the public the entrance of the supermarket. Here's where you'll go wrong, due to these butterflies, oh man -. I mean, aside from the 95% factor, she may have a prior engagement that night, so her failure to appear is not even a rejection, and she doesn't want to worry about you feeling like it was. I think people are going a little overboard with the sexual objectification and harassment-type comments. Be very casual about it. Certainly, it can be that way, but to me, Id take being asked out as a form of flattery, even if I wasnt interested. Dont arrive at a house and find there are no other guests. Help required for approaching a crush after awkward scenario, How to tell a colleague to take care of how he looks. And I have a boyfriend doesnt even slow down most of these guys. Webit takes some time and money to do this.. first come in the shop often (you probably had that part so you can skip that if you like) so she will notice you but yeah.. if she isn't looking at

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